I really should be writing essays...

I really should be writing essays... But, instead I am writing this blog post.

I'm going to get straight to the point and tell you that I am a mess. I can't keep my bedroom tidy (so much so that its contents is spilling out to the rest of my flat). I don't speak to my friends nearly as much as I should. And, I'm currently drinking tea out of a Christmas themed mug. Although, said mug does match my pyjamas/essay writing gear so maybe I'm not as much of a mess as I think. I don't blog anymore. I don't vlog anymore. Well, I do vlog. But, those vlogs never see the light of YouTube because editing takes a long time. But, here I am. Blogging. So, maybe I do blog after all.

I'm quite lost right now. I wrote in my previous post about how much I feel at home whilst travelling. I've just come back from travelling (which I'll hopefully get round to making a post about soon) and now I'm at home feeling lost. Today I've been doing reading for one of my essays and watching Lucy Moon videos in the in between to keep me motivated. And, whilst doing so, I realised something. I have a lot of ambition and a lot of ideas. But I never get around to making them because I'm so nervous about being judged. Or I don't film because how dare I even consider filming a video if I'm not wearing makeup. But, now I've decided that I don't particularly care about that. I'm going to start making the things I want to make/create. But, I'm doing it for myself. Not for whoever may see it. And, if people decide they want to read or watch what I create, then that's lovely.